Serenity and Despair, pencil on paper, 8 by 10 in. Emilia Kallock, 2020
An account of: Laying in the Driveway for 45 minutes.
I did something different today after I dropped off my daughter and her
friend at school. I pulled into my driveway and decided to lay down. I awoke today with really strong pain in my shoulder sockets and lower neck. It was hard to wash my hair in the morning, and I could feel it when I made breakfast and packed lunch for my daughter. My friends, who are staying with me for a while took these pictures. The first ones are of me laying my stomach, holding my glasses so they didn’t break. The ground felt cool, and I tried to relax my neck. About 10 minutes went by and I saw no need to get up. I thought about some things that can stress me out- the large trucks that decompress their brakes in front of my house, the bills, my laptop, the garden that needs tending, do I need to get married?, helping my daughter prepare for her end of year school play, fixing the car, the ridiculousness of why I was laying down near the middle of my driveway- and then after a while I let the thoughts pass. I wasn’t angry or sad, I just wanted to participate in all of it differently. I listened to the birds chirping and the wind in the trees. I turned around to lay on my back and that helped my shoulders relax more against the hard ground. I know dirt was sticking to my clothes and hair. The sun was strong and started stinging my face. I flipped my shirt up over my head and let the sun fall on my armpits. I hear animals lay in the sun and use it to heal themselves. Although I’m sure my friends thought it was weird, my cat didn’t, and just walked passed me and laid down. In total 45 minutes passed. I slowly got up as one does from savasana practice in yoga, and had a partially smoked cigarette in my studio.